Staff of Light

I am a computer person. I know computers, and I work in a computer support role. However system errors can occur anywhere. Especially when you think you know what you are doing.

I changed Web providers last month. While I got the website up and working on the fron end, the back end systems did not go so well.

However I have the backend systems back up, and I can post again, and I can get my emails again.

I am going to put new class shedules up this week.

Overwhelm is a place that everyone knows well. I certainly know it well. I seem to be spending quite a bit of time there.
I have so much to do. I have many demands on my time, and I am not getting everything done. In fact it seems like the more things pile up, the less effective I am.

Even things I enjoy doing become problematic. I know I have other things I should be attending to. I know I have to get stuff done. But I end up dithering and not getting stuff done.
I make lists, I prioritize, I send emails, I talk to people, I make excuses for not getting things done. But I don’t get things done.

Sometimes it is like that. We have so many things to do, some many demands that we just get overwhelmed and kinda fall apart.
It seems the world is more and more like that some days.

I look at GTD (Get Things Done) methods, I read ways to improve my focus. I know what to do.
But it is hard to do it.

Many of the things that I eventually get done are because of fear. I finish things because I fear what will happen if I don’t. Like Taxes. Last week was tax week, I have always had a fear of taxes ever since I allowed myself to have a negative experience with an accountant. I have not reclaimed my power, and taxes scare me.
I realize I need to reclaim my power, and do taxes from a space of love, and it is something I am working on. But right now they are done due to fear of what would happen if I don’t do them.

Somewhere the rubber meets the road and we have to take care of outstanding stuff. It just needs to get done.

This is where tools come in.
To deal, I make lists
I first make a list of what I need to do personally.
Then I make a list of what I can ask for help with.
I take the list of stuff I can ask for help with and send it to the universe with love.
Then I take the list of what I need to do personally, and try and do those tasks with love, while paying attention for the help I have asked for.

It is important to pay attention for the help to arrive and to accept the help when it does arrive.

Then slowly I work on my list.
What I learn is interesting.
I learn what are priorities for me. What do I want to do, what will I make time for.
As I learn what I want to do, what I make time for, what I do first, I have a little more clue on what I enjoy, what makes my heart sing, and where my bliss lies.

I am just about to leave for the Spring Spirit Spectacular. I have a table there and I am going to be doing readings and consultations. I also have brochures for my upcoming classes.
This is the first time I have done a intuitive “show”. I have done parties, groups, individuals, and I worked at a metaphysical store, however I have never done a show.

I am really excited about today. I am perhaps a little nervous right now, wondering if I have everything, and trying to get “in the zone”.
But this action feels inspired. It clicked into place, the pieces just came together. Now here I am about to go.

I did not know about this show on Friday. One of my friends had posted about it on her Facebook account, I saw that. It interested me. So I looked up the website.

The website needs help, but there was some interesting speakers. As I was reading through it I saw the link for “table space”. I wanted to know how much it would be, so I clicked on it.

It was very reasonable, and I noticed that they had “Sunday only” pricing.
It was Friday afternoon, and I had plans for Saturday that would be harder to change. However I had Sunday open.
I thought Hmmm, it is really late, the show starts tomorrow. I am sure the tables are sold out, even if they are not, it is just so late, maybe I should remember this and keep an eye out for the next show.

Then I decided that it would not hurt to send an email asking about the availability for a Sunday table. It would only cost me 5 minutes to ask. So I sent an email.

They sent an email back saying they had space and that I was in.

So now I am going to the show!

It’s exciting. The key is, I noticed something and I took 5 minutes to learn more information about it. I did not just go on with my day, but I paid attention to my network and took an action (looking up more information).
Next I saw the table information, I looked it up.
Then the biggest thing for me. I actually sent the email making the inquiry, even though my rational thoughts were telling me it is to late, I don’t have things prepared, it is sold out. Basically I was making excuses.

I transcended the excuses, I took the action, and now I am going.

Transcend an excuse today, see where it leads.

I am here to write a post. I sat down at the computer with the intention of getting a post out. I even kinda knew what I wanted to discuss.

However I sat here looking at the blank screen with a blank mind. Nothing was coming to me.

I was thinking about how happy I have been today. I have had a great day. But I am not feeling really happy now, I am more exhausted.

That is ok. What I am in a bit unfocused.

However getting a blog entry out is important to me. I know, even in my unfocused state, that this is something I want to do.

So I commit myself to doing it. I start by free writing, just writing what is in my mind, explaining how I am.
I eventually get to the point where I state my purpose. I have decided it is important for me to write a blog entry. I have committed t that.
Now I have some information on the screen. I am remembering how important it is to write something everyday, in a journal, or a blog, or a paper, or something to get things out of your head.

It is something important to be done every single day.
Now I am remembering that I wanted to talk about commitment.

Very important. Commitment.
When we are manifesting our visions, our goals, many people are very good at writing them down, repeating them to themselves, but they forget to commit to their goals.

Once you have defined your vision you have to commit to your vision, and take the steps and actions opened to you in order to make them reality. These actions often involve risk, at least stepping out of the comfort zone. If you want to make your dreams reality, you have to follow the inspiration and be willing to take a risk.

I was going to write 500 words around those 2 paragraphs, and I probably will soon.

However today, the theme is regaining focus, regaining purpose, regaining drive.

When I started this, a while ago. I was listless, I was unfocused, I was not really happy.

However I took the first step of free writing something, anything, and I went with it, I followed the thread, or threads, and I got to the point, or a point.

I have regained some energy. I feel better, more focused. Just the act of working on something I have said is important to me has refreshed me.

So I say if you are tired, exhausted and the day has you down. Find the motivation, somehow, somewhere to work on something that you have committed to, or at least free write.

Manifestation takes inspired action. Take an action. Feel great!

This week has been a very busy week. I was totally swamped at work. I had many, many obligations outside of work.
For most of the days this week I would leave the house at 7 am and get back around midnight, with perhaps a quick stop to change clothes.

The point is, I had a lot of demands on my time. There was a lot of activity going on around me. I had to take action on many things.

Luckily the energy broke and I felt good.

But more than feeling good, I felt centered. People were asking me for things, trying to complete their own projects. I had projects to complete. There was a lot to do.

Yet, I did not feel rushed, I did not feel overwhelmed. I was able to take the issues as they came up. I did not get everything done. But I got the most important items done.
At least mostly. I will finish the other items as I can, but I am not stressing over it, or berating myself unduly.

I understand that it was a very busy week. Somewhere along the way I found a small dose of balance.

I got to a space where I could take action on the item I needed to, I could prioritize my activities, and things mostly just fell into place.

I was present in the moments, taking care of the actions presented to me. Working on the activity that was before me, that needed to be done.

I was not dwelling on the past, or the big picture, or the future, or the completion of the project, or the next project. I was taking action on what needed to be done.

Obviously planning is important. I have a class on Sunday, I need to get materials, prepare the presentation, and get the house in order.
I know I have these items to do before the class.
However these are action items I can take before the class.
Looking ahead and knowing that these are things that need to get done allows me to determine my next action.
However if I think about the class, think about teaching the class, think about interacting with people, worrying about how many people will come, concerned about the materials, wondering how I am going to handle hypothetical questions, then I am starting to live in the future and disperse energy.
I can’t have the class now, I can’t live it. I can pre-pave the class, but the items I can take action on, right now, are the preparations for the class.

There is a balance point. A point of determining how to choose actions to pre-pave the success of the future, and then there is living in the future.

I have found that the future is always future, and now is always now. It is what I do now, in the moment that counts, and if I can take action now, I think I am starting to find the balance.

I know form follows thought. I know that I need to keep my attention on what I want, what I am creating, and feel it as completed.

I know that pumping out angry emotions stops and reverses the creative process. The emotions I put out, coupled with my intent, power my creations. It is pretty basic.

I know all of these things. Yet, this week so far, I am generally cranky.

I don’t really have a reason for it. There is nothing out of the ordinary going on. However my emotional baseline right now is somewhat miffed. I am just not happy about “things”.

There is not any particular thing that is really triggering me right now. It just feels like my energy is heavy, and I am choosing to allow things to annoy me.

Of course if I choose to allow things to annoy me, I am certainly going to attract more annoying experiences.
This can quickly become a catch 22. I am annoyed, so I attract annoying experiences. The experiences annoy me, so I become more annoyed.

Then the spiral down continues.

So what is the answer.

First, the energy needs to be recognized. I realize I am allowing myself to be annoyed, and to be cranky. It is not happening without my realizing it.
Once I realize it, I can take measures.

Second, I should find out what the root of my annoyance is. This is not totally needed. I could do the next steps and not determine the base issue, but if it is a pattern I need to resolve, it will express itself again if I don’t identify it.
In this case I really can’t put my finger on why I have become so cranky. It feels like the energy is just heavy.

Third, I get to make a choice. Do I want to stay in the heavy energy, or do I want to change?
Choosing to stay cranky is a valid choice, and it is ok for a little bit. However it is self defeating to wallow in crankiness for to long.

I choose to make a change.

Even if the energy is heavy, I can choose to transcend it.
There are tools that can be used.

Today I am going to start with a Rampage of Appreciation (from the Abraham Hicks Ask and It Is Given workbook, even though this idea is in many works).
I am going to sit for 5 minutes and write out everything I have to appreciate, all the things that are going correctly and everything I am thankful for.

This will start the appreciation juices flowing.

After that I am going to create a list of the things I am going to take care of today, and things I am going to ask the universe to take care of today. I am going to focus on my list, complete everything on my list, and I am going to feel accomplished.

Even making this plan has made me feel better.

The key here is that I identified that I was cranky, I became aware of it, and I choose to change it, and I choose to be happy.

To start the process, it takes a conscious choice, that’s it.

I took a trip this weekend. I really did not want to go.
I had a lot of things I wanted to do at home. I did not feel a need to go on the trip, I did not think it was the best use of my time, and I did not want to go.

But certain people who influence me convinced me that I was indeed needed, and that it would be a good use of my time. So I went.

The weather was nasty, and the drive there was challenging. The weather was yucky all weekend. I was by one of the great lakes. I love going to the lake and being by the water and watching and listening. That was going to make the weekend worthwhile.

However it was so foggy that I couldn’t even see the lake when I was right next to it.
I am sure it would have been foggy no matter what, but it felt like I brought the fog.

On Saturday morning, when I was entering the building where the event was, I stopped to get my bearings and send a text.
This lady way over yonder sitting on a table starts yelling at me to leave the area and that I am bothering her.
It became a big deal to me, but I am not going to relate all of it now.
I was confused as to the appropriate reaction and I ended up leaving as she continued to yell.

Later in the day, I was driving, when some people in another car suggested I choose a different place to be. I was just at a stop light waiting to turn when I heard them yelling at me. I put down the window, and they suggested I hurry and move along to another area.
It was really weird. It was a racist thing, but I did not feel endangered at all, I did not feel like I was being picked on, it felt like affirmation.

Even later in the day, I was walking and someone at a bus stop was shouting and carrying on and telling everyone to get away from him and just going crazy.

The first incident and the third incident were clearly triggered by hurt people acting out against their environments. The middle incident was just mild hazing of an out of towner.

It is nothing serious in any case. However all three were reflecting my desire not to be there back at me.

I actually ended up having a better than normal weekend. However my feelings about it were expressed in my situations and experiences.

I got to see a wonderful duality between those experiences and the more pleasant experiences of the weekend.

I have to wonder, if I have thought positively from the get go, fully embraced the weekend, went with the flow and went with joy, how wonderful it could have been.

I am not a huge fan of fortune telling. I think that sometimes a person does see a likely outcome of the way their energetic patterns are being expressed. However I don’t think that is ever set in stone.

We vibrate at a certain frequency. We attract experiences that we vibrate to, and we attract people that vibrate at a similar rate. If our pattern is set enough, ingrained enough, the energy will be expressed.

However this energy could be expressed in many, many ways. Sometimes we get a heads up on how the energy may be expressed. When we get that heads up, we have an option to change our vibration, in that moment, and make another choice, if we do not like the foretelling.

However in order to avoid having the energy expressed in the manner foretold, we have to transcend the pattern. If we do not transcend the pattern we may shift the way the energy expresses, but the energy will express.

Luckily when we are stuck at a vibrational rate the universe does not generally start with a big wake up call. It starts by clearing it’s throat.. uhmmm are you listening?
If you don’t listen, it may tap you on the shoulder. However the longer you stay in a pattern, the longer you put energy into a pattern, the larger the resulting expression will be.

On a lower frequency side this could start with loosing your car keys, a light not working in the car, the check engine light coming on, a mechanical break down, a fender bender, then a more severe accident. The energy expression keeps getting stronger.

On the higher frequency side it could be things continuing to get better. Your car running well, your car always starting, your car looking really good, you avoiding an accident, getting a new car unexpectedly. The energy expression keeps getting stronger the longer you put energy into the higher frequencies also.
However since that usually entails things continuing to go well, work well, not breaking down, and improvements, sometimes they are harder to recognize.

So, foretellings. I think it is easiest to determine what pattern you are stuck in, and intuit how that energy is expressing, and what types of expressions you may have if you stay in that energy.

Sometimes I get very clear intuitions about what exactly may happen, but generally I get intuitions about trends, or things to be aware of.

One of the reasons I get this type of information is because I believe in self fulfilling prophecies. If someone tells you that something is going to happen, generally negative, then you start to worry and focus on that. Your intention starts to focus on this event you do not want to have.
You intention equals energy, the more intention you put on something, the more energy you have going to that. So the very act of worrying about something, can cause that to come towards you, often more swiftly.

So I prefer to ask for intuitions about the positive things that people can do to lead more fulfilled and joyful lives. What gotchas should they watch out for, and what should they put their intention on.
In general I only go a little into the future, and I make sure people understand that this is what they are attracting at their current frequency, and they can change it any time, no matter what it is.

Sometimes I am hit over the head with an event. This weekend was one of those times. During two consecutive meditations I got the same foretelling for a person. It was what I would term negative. I felt compelled to talk to them about the issue. I don’t know what energy patterns exist that is attracting this type of experience. I did not do a reading, because they did not ask me to.

However I did caution them about the foretelling, and I told them not to focus on it, but to be aware.
I told them what I would tell anyone, anytime.

Be aware of your intuition, you are intuitive. If something does not feel right, don’t do it. If you feel uneasy, stop and go the other way. Listen to what your body tells you, listen to what your intuition tells you, and you can choose your own future, and it will be for your highest good.

I work with and know many different types of people. I a wonderful lady who processes invoices. She does a great job at it. She enjoys doing it. One day our manager called her into the office and told her she was being promoted and that her job was going to change. She burst into tears and begged not to be promoted. She wanted to process invoices.
It is what she did, it is what she enjoyed.
At the time this did not make much sense to me. I thought it would be an incredibly boring position and that she would want to find something else.
However she found value and inspiration in that position. It also allowed her to concentrate on her outside of work life, and she was happy.

I know many people who are inspired in doing their daily work. I have talked to accountants, lawyers, computer techs, programmers, who all find inspiration in their work.
They all can express their creativity in what they do.

It is being able to express your creativity, using the natural gifts that you have that allows you to tap into your inspiration.
A quote I first heard from Dr. Dyer always stays with me.
Being Inspired is being “In Spirit” Having the spirit moving within you and expressing itself.

I have also talked with many people who are in occupations that have settled there. They don’t get to express their creativity. They don’t feel the flow while they are working.
Most people don’t choose a job saying “I don’t really like this, but I will do it”. Many people start out appreciating a job, but then they grow and evolve. However the job does not always grow with them.

When this happens, it is time to move to something that inspires you, that makes the heart sing.
But moving on is hard, and scary, and it takes large amounts of faith.

If you are not “In Spirit”, look at what your are doing, see if there are ways you can express your creativity. Increase the life flow in what you are doing.
But if you are settling, and not following your passion, then you are boxing up your life force and not living “in the spirit”.

Of course your inspiration does not need to come from work, but I believe there is true joy in productive roles for everybody.

I know we can all live inspirited.

It has been a long cold winter. However the last 2 weeks here have been very nice. It has been sunny, and the temperatures have reached a nice mid 20′s to low 40′s. Snow is starting to melt, and it has been nice.

Whenever the temperature changes like this, I have a tendency to get sick. For the last 2 weeks I have not felt good. It has been drag myself through work, doing the bare minimum and going back to bed type of sickness.

I have been in this pattern for a while now. It was not always this way. I did not always have this weakness, or tendency. However it is something that I have always been aware of.

I grew up hearing about how you get sick when the season change. It is something that I learned to expect and to prepare for.

But this is a belief that does not fit with me anymore. I strongly dislike being sick when it is beautiful out (I am not pleased when it is cloudy and cold either, but I have less inclination to be outside then).

I don’t like feeling disconnected and cut off when the sun is streaming the energy.

I have decided that I need to change this belief system. My new belief system is “I am healthy and vital year round”.

So I am working on this belief system. Yet I am still not feeling well. I am coughing, I am having trouble focusing for long periods of time.

So my reality does not match this new belief I am working on.

That is ok. I believe that I have the power to instantly change, but my focus is not at that level.
I am starting on just affirming the belief, letting it feel right.

This cold will pass, sooner than later. Next season I will not expect to get sick.
It sounds easy, it can be easy, however breaking patterns take effort and energy.
I am going to put the effort and energy into breaking this pattern.

We will see how it goes.